Platform Games

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Look, I’m just saying that when you’re about to write “people are sick of pixel art platform games” in a comments section then you should know that people have been saying exactly this for over 30 years. This is from 1985. In issue 2 of Crash Magazine (1984), they ran a review segment with 6 variations of Kong in it – as ‘overcrowded genres’ go, this has been the standard state of affairs for as long as videogames.

Everyone is sick of pixel art platformers until they get the one they really like and that’s OK. That’s pretty much how, for reasons I can never quite fathom, things seem to work. Everyone is sick of pixel art scrolling platform games until Shovel Knight exists, for example. That one is OK. Everyone is sick of pixel art scrolling platform games and nobody buys them until Shantae does just fine and what are you all talking about do you need a sit down and a Werthers Original here take one and a Lemsip and calm down maybe?

Even if you break the two things apart, people are sick of pixel art – except when Swords And Sworcery or Stardew Valley or *falls off chair* or everyone is sick of platform games except… yeah, this is all heading down The Pool again and yes, there was that incident with the pigeon and I’m very sorry.

Of course, everyone is entitled to be personally sick of the sight of certain things. Like, for example, I’m very sick of seeing people say that people are sick of pixel art platform games after 30 odd years of listening to it. Everyone is entitled to be sick of whatever they want to be sick of, it’s perfectly healthy to feel like there’s too many of a thing because oh not another one, I only really liked one of them anyway or five of them but I’ve got a bit of fatigue and no more, please, just stop. That’s OK. It’s perfectly fine and all that.

It’s just weird that we do this thing on the internet where it’s then extrapolated into being the case for the market at large, an opinion shared by people everywhere (but especially those in comments sections who tried to tell someone that but got shouted down so thank you for agreeing with me and let us roll out, fellow disliker of this thing). That’s not true. There’s little to no evidence of it being the case for reals. It’s just, mainly, people like what they like and sometimes there’s these massive crossover games that break out of a niche and we judge everything for not being that because I dunno, this is a 20th and 21st century malaise. Maybe sooner than the 20th century but I’m old yet not quite *that* old.

It’s just odd. Like saying there’s too many rap records and that’s quite enough, thanks. I’d say “do people say there’s too many rock and roll records out there?” but maybe a few less white boys with guitars wouldn’t go amiss anyway because that’s how we end up with the fucking Stereophonics or something and dear me, if I could go back in time and change just one thing it would be to amend the course of their career so that even if they’re still successful, it all happens out of my earshot. I’m not sure I’d want to take their success away because that’s mean but definitely out of sight, out of mind but for lugholes.

Platform games are fine. Pixel art is fine. Putting the two together is perfectly fine. We haven’t even touched the sides when it comes to the possibilities available in these things, the serious things, the fun things, the what are you thinking things, plenty of space for more to come. Plenty of people interested in it. Comments sections, Reddit, they’re grumbly hang outs for grumbly people who grumble. It’s brill! I like a good grumble too, I’m grumbling now for the love of Molyneux! What an awful hypocrite I’d be to complain about that.

But it’s not representative of the market out there for videogames. Not at all.

That said, there’s definitely too many roguelite permadeath rpg stat *cane comes in and grabs me off the stage*

Oh no.