Vampyros Squidos

Yeah. Vampire aliens. Squids. It can only mean one thing, I’ve spent the past week getting back up to speed on that old writing games lark. And oh, the madness. The delusional madness.

It’s all gone a bit odd this time round. You may think “but you’ve made a sweary game with graphics by a 4 year old featuring Bruce Forsyth, a game with the giant head of Johnny Ball and warned people of the dangers of incoming debates on games as art via the medium of the arcade game” or you might think “you’ve made the same game 3 times in a row, man” and proclaim “it’s already odd, Oddbob”. It’s gone proper odd this time.

It started out with the portal screen I shown in a previous update but nnng, too similar to Squid Harder but a bit more hi-res, that’s boring. It’s one thing writing the same game but another thing making it look pretty much the same. Bigger, better, prettier, more Popcap. Yeah, that’s what we need this time. Casual gaming. Let’s make that leap, let’s do it, let’s fuck some shit up in a very gentle manner.

Yeah. Let’s see what way madness lies. Let’s have a plot this time round too. A plot? Fuck it, yeah, let’s do it. More games need plots. Proper plots. Plots about vampire aliens from an orange planet kidnapping game developers. Ok, not game developers plural, a single game developer. That’ll work won’t it? I know, let’s write and ask the game developer would he mind being in the game, oh, he said he’s up for it. Amazing. A special guest star. One of the guys that helped form me, one of the folks that way back when I first started gaming I thought “woah, one man, a Speccy, BASIC and his own company? I’d love to do that one day, maybe tomorrow” and then didn’t get round to it for over 10 years. Only without the Speccy, the BASIC or my own company. Or perhaps this is a result of too much of my own company. Damn insomnia.

A celebration of gamey things and what put me here. No better way to bow out the SYNSO story in style, I reckon. Or it could be the lack of sleep doing funny things to my brain. Possibly, but you never know. It might work. Everyone loves the Eighties. Everyone loves Popcap. Somebody, somewhere probably likes SYNSO, bless their cotton socks. I know, let’s throw them all together in one game. That’s it, that’s the plan. Only it won’t work out quite so simple, it’s me after all, it’ll go left a bit. Ok, not a bit, a lot. It already has. It started off so calm, so nice, it’s already on the road to Wonkyville with the foot stapled to the accelerator pedal. It’s a sexadelic dance party retro casual hardcore rainbow vomit. It’s like what The Path really wanted to be deep down but didn’t have the bollocks to follow through with because they omitted laser beams and little cute rabbits on Mekon-esque anti gravity discs and pretty colourful stars. I think. Maybe. Perhaps.

Fucked if I know, it’s time to crack on. It’s time to bring a rainbow cavalcade of pretty once more unto the world, it’s time to save the universe, it’s time to turn up the lights, it’s time to get some sleep before the pretty pictures try to eat my brain.

It’s time to get sequellising. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll sequellise. It’s a real word, yeah? What could possibly go wrong? I’ve got a towel just in case, I’m taking no chances.

Don’t take chances. Conform. Obey. This is not entertainment.

This is Vampyros Squidos.