Deus Ex:HR then. Predominantly regressive rather than progressive, like some sort of turn of the century wet dream made game and every bit as unadventurous as you’d expect. When your aspirations appear to be pretty much “something like Deus Ex” and you have the money, this is likely what you end up with.

Yeah, it’s probably a solid Deus Ex game and yeah, it’s nice to have something that allows you freedom but nearly 12 years on from Deus Ex:The First and it feels like it’s somewhere between a parody of PC games and a tribute band. I dunno, Deus and the Exes or something. The Immersive Sim Band, maybe.

Rooftop? Check. Vent? Check. Inventory management? Check. And so on… THIS IS PC GAMES.

The voice acting and lip sinking are fucking awful but hey, they’re only really mirroring the quality of the script most of the time, low res cut scenes and more importantly every single remotely cool thing you might do in game being played out in an in engine cut scene is fucking grim.

Generally though, I’m just finding it incredibly tedious. So to that end, I’m doing what every right thinking person does. You either try and find glitches or make up your own games. I am making up my own games.

I tried inventing a new form of planking called “Dumping” but it just wasn’t going to catch on with the kids. It’s just too beige for them, y’know? Perhaps it’s the dumpster chic that’s just not with it in the Detroit of the future.

I tried upping the ante to MEGADUMP but still, no.

And for those that just weren’t hep to the dumping groove? Piling. Let’s all lie down on top of each other, kids. Don’t worry, you’re only a little bit on the dead side.It won’t hurt although you may twitch enormously due to The Lord Of Physics playing tricks with your elastic limbs.

So far, I’d sooner play EYE. At least that has big dreams even if it often falls on its arse trying to achieve them. Mind you, EYE doesn’t have quite the attention to detail that Deus Ex:HR has…

Or maybe he’s just really pleased to see me.