The Rob Fearon Potty Time award for the game that makes even the most arduous of trips to the toilet a pleasure:

Super Spike Dislike from Jayenkai

Jay writes games. I think, if you check under the sofa, you’ll probably find some of his there. They get everywhere. I’m beginning to suspect that at the rate he churns them out, he’s secretly the person who writes all the games. Every last one of them.

Sometimes, he writes the same game more than once. Super Spike Dislike is Spike Dislike again but not but better but different but oh yes.

It is stupendously easy to play. If you have fingers or some appendage with which you can hold down a button (or on iOS, touch the screen with) then you can play Super Spike Dislike. You could, probably, play it with your nob if you wanted to (and you have a nob). I wouldn’t recommend it but you could.

Actually, I would recommend it but shush.

It’s also incredibly easy to explain to people what you do. “You avoid the spikes”. That’s it. You do so over a multitude of modes, in a variety of sometimes incredibly random feeling visual skins and at a skill level of your choosing. If you like avoiding spikes easily, you can do so. If you like TOUGH SPIKE AVOIDANCE, you can do this too.

It works. Everything about it just works. It’s also the kind of game that people pass over because they’re idiots. It’s almost too simple, it’s not got EA production values so it doesn’t always scream play me now but it is brilliant. It is perfect mobile gaming. It’s the sort of thing that makes your poo stops just fly by in an enjoyable manner, it’s one of those games that I’m surprised (and glad for Jay) that no-one has come along and cloned it, reskinned it and tried to pass it off as their own because it’s just that sort of game. Pitched to perfection with a twitchy compulsive soul.

Exactly how I like my women. I think.

Don’t quote me on that. No, don’t – it’s not true. I just said it for effect.