I’ve finally realised what Valve’s Greenlight is.

Yes, it’s a near useless corner of the Internet where games go to never be on Steam for the vast majority of developers. It’s also the place with one of the most embarrassing gatekeeper fees I could possibly name. It’s those things but also something more, something vastly more interesting.

“Looks like a Flash game”, “Looks like a cellphone game”, “Browser crap”, “I always downvote cellphone games”, “Looks like a Unity game”, “This game doesn’t belong on Steam”

“This game doesn’t belong on Steam”

“This game doesn’t belong on Steam”

The question Valve believe they’re asking their users, the expectation of developers paying the fee and going in to Greenlight is that people are being asked “would you buy this game on Steam?” And for many people, that’s the question they answer.

But Greenlight is something else to many. Greenlight is the last stand of the I AM THE HARDCORE. Greenlight is the final battleground of the NO CASUAL SHALL PASS. Greenlight is the last ditch attempt at fighting change with its trusty friend Mr Kickstarter Nostalgia Project in tow to defend its honour.

The question they’re answering isn’t just SHOULD THIS GAME BE ON STEAM (YES/NO/ASK ME LATER), it’s IS THIS GAME AN ABOMINATION IN THE EYES OF THE ELDER GODS OF VIDEOGAMES (1992-2002) AND CAN WE EXORCISE THIS FILTH FROM THE WORLD IN ONE CLICK AND A COMMENT? PS – LOL.

Greenlight is their only defence now. It is Steam Fortress and they’ll hold the barbarians from the gate if it kills them.

The housewife won. We won. The majority of people who play videogames won. The hidden object players, the match 3′ers, the bite size gaming chunksers won. Those who like small arty experiments and those who like nothing more than a Bruckheimer movie made game won. Variety won. There’s more winning to do but there’s always more winning to do.

And all that’s left now for those who covet the videogame from the people is a tiny service on the largest PC digital distributor and a NO vote, their fingers raw from downvoting browser games and cellphone games on site.

It’s not a NO button, it’s a GET OFF MY LAWN button.

Bless.