I’m sure many of you might have heard of The Global Game Jam where over 1600 people around the world spent a weekend making games.

Making 370 games at that.

Not bad.

It’s not bad but it isn’t epic.

Last weekend some of the best (and not so best in my own case) indie developers out there contributed more than 1 game to THE 371-IN-1 KLIK & PLAY PIRATE KART II: KLIK HARDER event over at Glorious Trainwrecks.

Whilst the target was 371, the final tally came in at 529.

Five Hundred And Twenty Nine.

That’s a lot of games. Even the infamous “The Indie Doctor” contributed five games, bless his soul.

Five Hundred And Twenty Nine. In 48 Hours. Five Hundred And Twenty Nine.

Epic is 102 people making 529 games with no game taking more than 2 hours to put together.

Oh yes, that’s fucking epic.

If you ever doubt that humanity can be truly wonderful, take a look at this. All the proof you need that magic can happen.

No need for a keynote, no need for global webcasts, no need for PR horseshit. Just people being wonderful and amazing as only people can be.

You couldn’t ask for more.

Huzzah’s and applause to everyone who took part, to the fine folks who organised it and especially to the person who concocted Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely R-Type Band as it is, without a doubt, the greatest title for a game that ever was.

And Global Game Jam folks? You’ve got to work fucking harder, I tells thee.

Two points of note:

I imagined the entire thing taking place in Longsight Job Centre, Manchester.
I read the entire thing in a Chris Morris voice.

You may draw your own conclusions from that information.

Here’s my favourite two Tindersticks/Stuart A. Staples duets:

And some live stuff:

Cancer truly is a cunt.

Onwards with some links:

RPS Interview with Ian Bogost

About A Slow Year. Hard to disagree with the commentator who says that he’s made the 2600 look beautiful, really.

The new debate on Games As Ert

Glorious. Infectious. But is it Ert?

Obligatory Paleo Future link: Robots Will Kill Music

Hmm, they didn’t, did they?

BBC Micro News

It’s the news. As read by a BBC Micro. Of course. Genius. Thanks also to Craig Grannell for pointing me at this which is also pretty neat.

Talking of Craig…

Apple Censorship

and the frankly boggling “you’ll get addicted to porn if you’re not careful” comments that follow is well worth a read. Hypocrisy? Yuss, it’s all present and correct in App Store politics.

And err, talking of iPhone stuff, George Bray pointed me at this here game. It’s quite clearly NSFW and erm, not very realistic either. It’s not on the App Store (curiously enough) but y’know, thought I’d mention it anyway. Just be careful, looking at it may turn you into a raging slut or something.

Also, it would seem we’re all doomed, doomed I tells thee. Either that or someone just doesn’t understand how things work.

Dear Satan…

Hardcasual just goes from strength to strength.

Can Piracy Save The PC?

Timely in the wake of Ubisoft’s DRM-o-geddon fest and a welcome publicly availablenesslark for Stu’s Total PC Gaming piece.

Edge Mag: Sound Toys

Featuring my absolute favourite, so it gets a lovely link. Well done, Chris. You chose well.

Stupid tabloid shit of the week.

Courtesy of The Express.

“In more extreme cases, mostly boys aged between 14 and 16, some revealed they do nothing but play video games of an evening, even resorting to eating food with one hand while the other gripped a controller.”

SHOCKING! I’m sure you’ll agree.

More stupid!

This time it’s the CoE though. *sigh*

“I have seen its pernicious effect. A family member saw a so-called ‘game’ and he had nightmares. The images remained with him for months”

John Robb on The Brits.

Or rather, writing about The Brits. As if they’d be that classy.

Defending The Indefensible: Courtney Love

Everett True totally on form. I’m going to assume everyone has already picked up the (official and legal) torrent of PlanB Mag for more musical readage.

So, whilst I fume myself senseless over the latest shit emanating from Chez Tale Of Tales (Punk is anti rock n roll? Oh, do fuck off) sit down and enjoy some fireworks. Click through to Vimeo to watch it in big-o-vision.

Now, I’m sure there’s those amongst you, dear readers, who think it’s perhaps a little early to call bullshit on it given that y’know, the only thing we have to go on so far is a PDF announcement.

Well, call me Mr Cynical but I’m not convinced.

I’m not entirely convinced by Kotick’s DICE speech for many reasons, mainly because actions tend to speak louder than words and the actions from Activision as a publisher haven’t exactly been wonderful. Kotick’s reported speeches prior to this one, well, to me it takes more than “I was talking to investors so I was having a bit of a funny with them because erm, yes, I didn’t mean what I said at all. Look over there!” to convince me. I’m not convinced because of the consumer price gouging, I’m not convinced because y’know, this is the same week that it’s reported that cutbacks may hit 3-400 staff at Activision and that Activision closed a number of studios.

I’m not convinced that apologising for not buying up studios or properties is entirely something that I want to hear an apology for. I’m not convinced by a man who tries to say “I love games” but claims not to play them due to “an addictive personality”.

I’m not convinced that the whole DICE speech was anything but an exercise in spin and smiley faced PR. Matt Sakey covers this with a bit more bile than I do but y’know, I concur with the sentiments.

So why, given that for all the reasons listed above, would I be even remotely convinced that Activision were going to do something for the good of the developer with this competition? It smells far too much like grandstanding.

$100,000 is a big number. It’s the kind of money that most indie devs aren’t going to see easily. It’s something to aspire towards. Let’s be honest here, who wouldn’t want $100,000? Who couldn’t spend $100,000 and either live a bit more comfortably or find themselves with enough to punt towards making their game better? I know, certainly, that I could do with $100,000 right now if only to make sure I can eat well for a while. It’s nice, it’s big, it’s round. It’s an amount that stands out and says LOOK, I AM A LOT OF MONEY.

So, out of the $113m net income Activision reported for 2009, $100,000 is a piss in the ocean isn’t it? Suddenly, it doesn’t look quite so big and quite so generous. Especially as a one off (or potentially five off if we assume the initially reported $500,000 wasn’t some sort of delusion) payment. Is it an unwelcome one? Possibly, rules depending. Possibly not. We’ll see.

What it most definitely isn’t is a reach out to the indie community.

Do you, readers, think that Activision or Bobby Kotick really want to help the little guy see his dream project get off the ground? Do you think that in just a few days from studio closures galore, Bobby Kotick sat down and thought “hey shit, I’m doing this wrong!” ?

It’s a chance for Activision to get their mits on new IP or concepts to sell – that’s for certain. Now, that’s not necessarily a bad thing but think what they could have done. They could have done something that mattered, that made an actual difference.

Can you imagine what they could do with a scheme similar to Blitz1up? With the money, knowledge and resources of Activision at hand? Can you imagine how much good they could actually do with a grant scheme to fund smaller developers? Or making tools and tech accessible to the smaller developer.

The possibilities of what they could have done are endless and there’s so many, many things that could have gone some way to engender not only some trust but some respect for the smaller developer.

But they didn’t.

Instead, rather than want to assist and nurture developers they’ve opted for a grandstanding big number competition where I have no doubt that the end result is someone working to get their game published by Activision or Activision absorbing that idea into their mothership either to be developed or to never be seen again.

And as my dear old mum and many a wise person gone before me said. “If something sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true”.

$100,000 is a lovely amount of money yes, but maybe, just maybe, in this case it might be an idea to be more than a little wary of the gift horse.

Given that for most of the games in the list, it’ll cost you more than that for a single title, it’s a special special offer. But, the absolute best bit and I thank Cipher Prime for ensuring this feature was in place, is that you can gift the games on if you already own them or want someone else to be able to give it a punt.

Being blunt, this is something that should be absolutely standard for intertron game purchases. Thanks to this offer, I’ve managed to legally pass on 4 games to folks who might not have gotten to play them otherwise. Yes, I’m that person who uses the gifting option on Steam too. So come on folks, let me not just buy stuff for myself but let me buy it for other people too without having to fuck around.

So go on, grab The Indie Love Bundle and give a bundle of love to some indies. And some cash. Obviously. The offer runs till Friday.

As it was, I couldn’t be there. One of the awkward things about being me is that I can’t really plan anything, I never quite know what’s going to crop up at home. And so, with all the will in the world I couldn’t attend. This made me a bit sad, admittedly, not just because I appear to have missed out on a great night out but because saying thank you is important. Not forgetting people is important.

2009 brought with it the usual chaos, I can’t remember the last time I had anything close to what you might call an uneventful year and sure enough, 2009 brought its own share of ups and downs to the table. Things went especially tits towards the end of the year, what with being rushed into hospital on the night I was supposed to be celebrating my 34th year on this planet and the financial drain that caused. Yet despite all that, I ended up sitting there on New Years Eve not lamenting at how horrid life can be but happy, satisfied and thankful. I may have had no internet access, I may have only had 60p in the bank but 2009 was a year to be incredibly thankful for.

I do believe that upon receiving an award, it’s the done thing to offer up a list of thanks. So, y’know, who am I to break with tradition?

On a personal note.

I’m thankful for the surgeons who took care of my wife in the early part of the year and made sure that we’re still together. Thank you to them all.

I’m thankful for the hospital staff who took care of me and made sure I wasn’t going anywhere either. Thank you to them all.

I’m thankful for the teachers and school staff who’ve helped my kid start to thrive and become his own little man (and the greatest 5 year old beta tester there is). Thank you to them all.

I’m thankful for my wife, who is not only as lovely as a lovely thing but doesn’t just tolerate what I do in my spare time but encourages and supports it too. Thank you Mrs Bob.

I’m thankful for my best mate, a chap called Darren who doesn’t really venture out into the realms of online communities much but has been a constant source of support and fun for over 15 years now and has been eternally ace.

Without all of these people, I wouldn’t be able to make games in my spare time. I wouldn’t be able to do what I do, I wouldn’t be sitting here comfortable in bed typing this post out now if it weren’t for the stuff that they do. And I’m thankful every day for that. All that stuff alone, I’d offer a million thanks.

The thing is, whilst I couldn’t do these things on a day to day basis without the above folks I mentioned, there’s these other folks – just as important – that I’m thankful for. The ones who’ve all helped make me want to continue doing what I do. Chances are, if you’re reading this now, that means you’re probably one of those people. You’re part of the reason I continue to do what I do. So, I thank you.

I’m thankful to Rodent, not just for being a place where it’s accepted that creative is just something people are but for being a place that hasn’t once failed to raise a daily smile in all the years of visiting it and has gotten me through some pretty rough patches where grinning was a struggle.

I’m thankful to the Retro Remakes mob, the place on this internet I call home because it’s filled with ace people doing ace things and I love them one and all. Without them I wouldn’t just not be making games, I wouldn’t be a tenth as happy as I am. Thank you.

Thank you to David Hayward of Pixel Lab who not only put my games on show but managed to facilitate me finally getting to meet some of the folks from RR and Rodent in Leeds last year and gave me the opportunity to meet someone whose work means a great deal.

Thank you to Terry Cavanagh, Mr Lavelle, Jeff and Giles of Llamasoft, Matt James, Charlie Knight, Anna Anthropy, Jon Blow and a few others for being an inspiration and an education and helping me make games in more ways than they’d ever know.

Thank you to Stu Campbell for the squirrel highlight of 2009.

Thank you to Andy Noble for making SYNSO on a console a reality.

Thank you to all the folks at Zombie Cow for being fab. Especially to Nick. I love you Nick.*

Thank you to every journalist, online or otherwise who’s featured my games somewhere. Be it in best of lists, in passing or in review.

Thank you to everyone who downloaded my games over the past couple of years, everyone who ever posted a comment on them be it favourable or nay.

Thank you to everyone who despite having no obligation to do so, put their hands in their pockets and helped the me making games things easier and less stressful to do.

Thank you. All of you. I don’t say it nearly enough but you’re great and I do appreciate you. You’re fab. Cheers!

To 2010 and all it may bring. Onwards!

*it’s a Left4Dead thing…

Click to embiggen.